Howard: Schmidty, Howie or Pinche Guerro - which means my white American
friend or so I am told.
FRB: FRB Message Board handle?
Greasy Enchiladas; ironically I am eating some as I type this.
FRB: Who is Howard Schmidt?
Howard: Lucky husband, father
of two wonderful daughters; poser boulderer, wannabe surfer, exercise
freak, and commercial real estate hack, please don't call me a realtor.
FRB: How many times have you been banned from
Board? And I must confess…
I actually banned
you once for several months last
year… that was
very funny. And then I would give you
access and take
it away after a harmless post of
laughs on that one…
can forgive me?
Howard: INTERVIEW OVER YOU SOB!!!,
laughing; I must admit that's pretty good. I would post something like
"Celo's pix get me all hot and bothered" and then I'd be banned, I was
thinking sheessshhh, wtf?
Howard: 37; someone called me
"old school" the other day, kinda funny to be called that in your 30s.
You're an old-schooler Mikey!!!
Howard: 180 in summer; 190 winter drinking weight.
FRB: So… what does it feel like to be one big
Do you take any
joy crushing little bouldering
your gargantuan UFC like
Or do you prefer the gentle giant role?
Howard: UFC??? Planes are a pain,
as are European bathrooms, but you never have a problem at the movies.
Like most "old-schoolers", I enjoy schooling little grommets (only when
appropriate), but also enjoy a good crushing by some of the grandpas
out there as well. It's all in good fun right? Some of the guys in their
50s and 60s blow my mind much more than the 20 somethings; those guys
are the shit! I decided long ago that being a gentle giant sucks and
fits my personality like a clarinet at a speed metal concert.
FRB: Who is better bouldering spotter? You… Scott Blunk
Howard: Your only good as your
last spot, so it would be the last guy who plucked my ass out of air
- which was my dad of all people (who didn't know what the hell he was
doing) up at the Satellites on Flesh Fest. I told him just make sure
my melon doesn't go kir-splate on one of the rocks below. He came through.
FRB: Did you ever beat up Chris Baker at El Paso
Truth or Urban Legend??
Howard: Chris and I were too
busy fighting off Cholos and drinking cheap J-Town beverages to fight
each other. Chris is one of the true and few Hueco-soul-bouldering-bruthas.
FRB: Any childhood Juarez stories you can share with us?
lot of stories involving way too much tequila y cerveza, partying on
the verge of chaos, the crooked Federales threatening and shaking us
down, Boy's Town with your best friends, cab rides from and to hell,
crooked cops again, donkey shows, drugs, Mexican jail cell time, knife
fights and gun shots, poverty stricken women and children (yes, children)
prostituting themselves for $5 to jarheads, fucking the jarheads up
for this, amazing soccer (futbol) games, dancing to salsa and punk in
Mexico, The Kentucky Club, The Mariachi Bar, Cosmos, The Alive, Fred's,
Sub, Gato Taco, The Cave, etc., amazing Mexican food, a passionate Latin
country, bloody bullfights on Sundays, beautiful senoritas, you get
the picture. I love Mexico and its people; all of this had a big impact
on me at a ripe age and I am grateful that I was able to experience
it and live to tell about it. It is part of who I am and how I view
FRB: What is your favorite boulder problem in Hueco…
Front Range… or
Howard: Lots of unfinished business,
which are also generally my favorite problems. Though undone, I love
Purity Control or Pocket Prob at Milly - just a beautiful line. The
new Evan's stuff is very cool as well. Esperanza at Hueco, will likely
never do it, but love the line, the meaning of the name and the itty
bitty holds. Bow down to Fred!
FRB: Have you developed any areas on the Front Range
that you're particularly proud of?
Howard: Just the home wall in my garage; it rocks domes!
I generally let guys like you do all the development then I just swoop
in afterwards for the glory, hahaha!!!!
FRB: Do you play any basketball… Sorry… must
Howard: Dammitt! Not all tall
guys play basketball, fact is I really suck at basketball.
FRB: How do you trick your family into letting you boulder?
Howard: My wife knows how bitchy I get if I don't get my bouldering fix on. Luckily this is because she also needs her running buzz as well. We work together on accommodating each others exercise drugs of choice. We are a good team.
FRB: Any bouldering sponsors?
would want to sponsor a 37 year old softy like me? The only thing I
crush is ice for my nightly cocktail. It's just me, myself and commercial
real estate; though Bryan Mallin at Paradise has been very good to me.
I can just see the sponsors lining up after reading that…laughing! The
only sponsor I have ever had besides my mom is Superior Cerveza - I
played for a Mexican soccer team. Do think Avery would ever sponsor
a bouldering team?
FRB: Where do you like to party?
Howard: My house; music is a
big thing at our house, we have different music nights like big band
night, country night, jazz night, salsa night, punk night, bossa nova
night, etc; we crank the stereo, the kids dance their asses off and
run their batteries down, the adults have a few and eventually join
in and everyone has a lot of fun - that's where I like to party! The
Falling Rock Tap House, The Bluebird, and the Gun are all close 2nd
FRB: Ape Index?
FRB: Years bouldering?
FRB: Who do you boulder with … where do you
will have me, a lot of Morrison whores, here goes: you, Brian M., TJ,
Tom, Fi, Stef, Chris and Marene, Calvin, Bob, Rufus, Grandpa Doug, sausage
finger Wayne the butt smacker, Nate, Wahly, Piz, Queen Annette, Celo,
Jade, natty dread Jen, Bryan M., Sean, Tracy, Joe, Frank, Edrea, Jim,
Sarah, Matt, Steve, Amy and Will, Frederic, many others.
FRB: Award for the saltiest boulderer on the Front Range?
a tie between Chris Baker and Bob Williams; salt of the Earth kind of
FRB: Favorite place to grab plastic?
of course, oh, you mean climbing - definitely Paradise,
where the vibe is right and the problems are outa sight.
FRB: Favorite intoxicated animal?
of course! Though donkeys are fun as well.
FRB: How did you get started in bouldering?
Howard: We used to go to Hueco
during high school in the early 80s for trad climbing; we would warm
up by bouldering. I loved the freedom, discovery and the spirituality
of it; I also soiled myself a few times. Growing up in EP, you couldn't
wait to leave, but who would have known we had the Northshore/Pipeline
of bouldering in our backyard!
FRB: Any significant bouldering injuries?
Howard: Tennis elbow in both elbows, though I don't
FRB: Favorite beer… and place to enjoy it?
Howard: I really prefer Belgium
abbey ales and German bocks; they are just the best. Europe, Falling
Rock Tap House, Avery Brewery, Buddy's Beer Barn and the Great American
Beer Festival are all places to imbibe fine, noble brews.
FRB: If you retired from bouldering today which
or trip would you have the
Howard: Joe's Valley, I really
like that place for some reason. It's probably because it's my life
long dream to become a full LDS member with multiple wives, 10 blond
groms, and farm the boulders out there.
FRB: Your hardest boulder problem completed?
to Mellon Patch - V11 maybe 12?
FRB: The boulder problem you still want to do?
Fest, Finger Hut, Karma, Purity Control, Fucking Center, Baby Face,
Black Lung, Esperanza, Slash Face.
FRB: What is the craziest stunt you've ever done?
here years ago with no job, no real plan and $250 to my name. Would
I do it again?….Hell yeah!!!
FRB: Favorite quote?
like quotes: Pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever. Happiness is
the purpose of Life - Dali. Tomorrow isn't a guarantee.
FRB: Super hard boulder problems?
Lung, Esperanza, and DJ TJ's Blue taped problem at Paradise.
FRB: Favorite Bouldering area … why?
Hueco, Morrison, Skyland, Red Cliff, Paradise, and Millenium for different
reasons. If you have to ask, you'll never know.
FRB: Do you have any climbing heroes?
Gill, Bob Williams, Jim Halloway, Fred Nicole, Lynn Hill, Royal Robins,
Alex Lowe, Jared Ogden, Chouinard, and that always present new kid who
gives it his all, comes up short, climbs back on for another go and
just gets bucked off again.
FRB: Locals only?
Hell yeah! Local breaks 1 and 2!! NFC dude! Laughing!
FRB:What motivates you?
Howard: Caffeine, fast music,
living life fully and hot chicks.
FRB:Thanks for the interview, Howard.
Howard: You're welcome.